


Force of Habit

by anxiousravenclaw



Series: It Touches Everyone Differently [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry Clint Barton, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Clint Barton Feels, Conversations, Gen, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Prisoner Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22048363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousravenclaw/pseuds/anxiousravenclaw
Summary: Clint and Natasha have a talk and notice something is off about Loki.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov
Series: It Touches Everyone Differently [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509710
Comments: 20
Kudos: 98





	Force of Habit

**Author's Note:**

> Probably could have done better with this but hope you all like it.

Curiosity. That's all this was. Simple curiosity. Not _worry._

Though, then again, he shouldn't even be _feeling_ any type of curiosity towards Loki. Shouldn't be feeling anything towards him. He should be avoiding him until he was gone for good.

At least that's what he kept telling himself and yet here he was, pretending to eat a plate of sausages while he watched Thor put together a breakfast plate for his psychotic little brother. Just like he's been doing at every meal for the last week. He wished he at least knew _why._ Luckily Thor never questioned his presence, just went on fixing up Loki's plate.

_At least he was eating regularly._

Clint let out a long sigh and pushed his plate away.

"No appetite?" Thor said as reached for Clint's plate, his hand hovering over it.

Clint made a face but shook his head. "No. Not really. I'll just make myself a cup of coffee for now."

"So you will not mind if I...?"

Clint made another face and turned his head away so Thor wouldn't see it. "Take the sausages," he said, "doesn't really matter." He heard a clinking sound and then the dull thud of Thor placing the now empty plate of sausages before picking up the tray to take it down to Loki's cell.

"Is he actually eating?" The question escaped Clint's mouth before he was even aware of it. He heard Thor stumble slightly in his steps and felt his own shoulders tighten as he realized what he had asked. He could feel Thor's eyes on him but didn't turn around, just focused on making his coffee.

"Do you really wish to know?" He heard Thor ask.

"No," Clint said bluntly, "but I already asked. If you want to answer that's up to you."

There was a bit of an awkward silence, Clint liked Thor just fine and they got along pretty well but Loki was a touchy subject for them both. Thor did his best not to talk or worry about his brother around Clint and Clint did his best not to show his hatred toward Thor's brother around Thor. Or any of his other mixed up feelings when it came to Loki. This question was his first slip.

"His plates are always clean of food when I go to retrieve them, so yes, I think he's eating." Thor had decided to answer his question after all.

* * *

Loki and his cell were both being closely monitored by several cameras that Jarvis kept a record of. No one really felt the need to check them, if Loki had escaped Jarvis would have alerted Tony and the others right away and Thor was constantly heading down to Loki's cell several times a day. The cameras, if anything, were simply a precaution that left them all feeling secure.

But now Clint felt the need to check the cameras.

He let himself into the room Tony had set up as the surveillance room and saw Thor on one of the many monitors, still visiting Loki at his cell. It looked like Thor was talking and Clint fiddled with the controls so he could hear what was going on as well. 

"...I'll be back later for the tray, brother." Clint looked up just as Thor exited Loki's cell, glad to see that he made sure the cell was locked up tight before actually leaving the room. After the sound of the door shutting behind Thor there was no sound. Nothing but silence. He caught sight of Loki, curled up on his side and facing the wall. His back to the room, to Thor, and even to Clint. It was a stupid thought, but Clint had this feeling that Loki knew, had to know, that he was watching him. So he gave him his back to watch.

 _He's not in my mind anymore,_ Clint reminded himself, _he has no hold over me anymore. SHIELD has custody of his scepter and Thor says he can't reach his magic. He knows nothing of what I'm thinking or doing._

"What am I doing?" Clint spoke out loud, his eyes still on Loki.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Hey Nat." Clint supposed he shouldn't be entirely surprised by Natasha's presence but didn't turn to face her either and felt her gaze switching from him to what he was focusing on: the screen showing Loki still huddled up.

"Want to talk?" She asked him, her voice nearly expressionless but Clint could hear just a touch of concern in it.

"Not really."

"Can you at least tell me if we should all be worried about something, not concerning you," she quickly said when she saw the way Clint started to tense up, "I mean anything concerning Loki. Like a way he could possibly escape, that sort of thing."

"No, that really wasn't my reason for wanting to check on things. I'm pretty sure Thor's fancy bracelets are more then enough to keep Loki here." Clint turned and saw Natasha dragging a chair over to sit by him.

She bumped her knee against his and asked, "What was your reason, then? If it's not just a security check." Clint turned back to watch the screen. Loki had sat up, sitting cross legged on the bed, and was staring at the plate of food Thor brought him with a look of disgust. Clint let out a bitter laugh at that look.

"Force of habit." He answered Natasha and she gave him a look to let him know that she was waiting for him to explain himself. Clint let out a loud groan and caught, out of the corner of his eye, the corner of Natasha's mouth twitching before steeling her expression. Clint gave her a quick look and she bumped his knee again. "It was something I did, back when Loki had his hooks in me. I, I would look after him, make sure that he was eating and drinking. I don't even know why I did. That was definitely one thing Loki hadn't told me to do or expected from me. But I still did it."

"Was there a reason why?" Natasha asked him.

"Because he wouldn't eat." Clint snapped, throwing his hands out in front of him. He sounded irritated. "He was practically nothing but skin and bones, there were several times when he would either run out of breath or have to sit down, and I swear I could see him growing paler and still I had to push him just to drink _water._ Don't even get me started on how long it would take me just to get him to take a bite of food."

Clint let out a long exhale, crossed his arms, and focused back on the screen. Loki was taking a long drink of water. Clint would have kept watching him if Natasha hadn't reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, bringing his attention back to her. He curled his lips in annoyance. "I know it doesn't make sense, but-"

"But you've always been one to offer help to those you know who need it. To give them another chance."

"This is Loki," Clint scoffed, "he came here with an alien army with every intention to take over the world and _forced_ me to be a part of his plans. Forced me to do things I wouldn't have done-!" Clint cut himself off before he ended up saying too much.

Natasha, at least, seemed to sense Clint's reluctance to continue talking about his time under Loki's control. Clint felt her gaze leave him and quickly checked to see that she had joined him in looking at the screen. Loki had picked up the plate of food.

"Well," Natasha starts to say, "looks like he's decided to eat." And Clint knows that she's, in her way, trying to soothe him. That even though she doesn't understand his need to check on Loki's dietary needs, he doesn't even know why himself, she realizes that it matters to him. And he can't pretend he doesn't feel something loosen inside him when he watches Loki holding the plate of food. Once it was in his hands Loki would always end up eating it. Part of him still wants to actually _watch_ Loki eat, but he doesn't want Natasha to read more into this.

"Come on," Clint made himself say as he started to push himself off the chair, "let's leave Jarvis to watch Loki."

"Hang on a minute, he's getting up." Natasha grabbed hold of his arm and Clint stopped to see that she was right. Loki, with the plate still in hand, was now standing up. It didn't look right, Loki appeared to be steadying himself and when he started to walk it wasn't with the grace he seemed to move with. Was he moving to eat at the small table? 

"He's heading towards the bathroom." Natasha said and Clint didn't reply, just kept watching as Loki disappeared in the only part of his cell that didn't have a camera watching him. Just as he started to think that Loki somehow managed to escape with them watching him he stepped back out of the bathroom. With an empty plate of food. They then watched Loki place the plate on the table and then watched as he lowered himself on the bed, curled up, and appeared to try to fall back to sleep.

"You're going to check the camera feeds, aren't you?" Natasha asked. Clint nodded.

"It might be nothing." He said.

"Or it could be." Natasha responded and moved to join Clint in checking the feeds as well.

They looked back through the entire week Loki has been here, focusing on the times they knew Thor came down to bring him food. They watched and saw that Loki never ate in front of Thor. That he was only ever caught drinking water and whatever other beverage was brought to him. They watched as he always headed towards the bathroom with a plate full of food only to leave it with a spotless plate. Watched as he seemed to do nothing but sleep or sit or mindlessly stare at nothing while laying a hand over his stomach.

"He's hasn't been eating this entire time." Clint said outloud and he couldn't help the frustration, the concern, rising within in. He also couldn't help but wonder why? Why wasn't Loki eating and how were none of them aware of it?

"We should inform Thor." Natasha said, "there might be something going on with Loki that's affecting his appetite and we have no idea how Thor's homeworld, or his parents for that matter, will react if we allow their second prince to starve on our watch."

"You go," Clint told her, "I'm gonna keep watch over Loki."


End file.
